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The ninja-replacement scale of literature

celebration, frivolity, dancing, La!, joy
It occurs to me you can rate other works of literature by how many characters need to be replaced by ninjas to make it better. For example, for other recent reading:
Shelley's Prometheus Unbound - Would be improved if either Asia or Panthea was a ninja -- I'm not sure which would be better. Both wouldn't work, though.

Byron's Manfred - The whole bleeping cast needs to be replaced by ninjas (except for the spirits, who'd have to be tengus). And then drop-kicked off the Jungfrau.

Keats's Endymion - Ninjas would be superfluous.
This gives them ninja-replacement scores (NRS) of 1, ∞, and 0, respectively. It also works with prose -- Lord of the Rings has an NRS of 0 (the only possible improvement is ninja!Sam, but that wrecks the last line), while Pride and Prejudice has NRS = 5 (arguably).

Care to rate any others?

ETA: Ninja-replacement in Shakespeare is being discussed here.

---L.

Comments

coraa
Nov. 6th, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)
It's hard to say. Tess and Angel might be an awesome ninja team, but I was mad enough at Angel when I finished the book that I'm not sure he deserves to be a ninja.

I honestly don't recall the details that well either -- I just remember being horrifically depressed by it, and I think everything is less depressing with ninjas.
lnhammer
Nov. 6th, 2009 02:21 pm (UTC)
Oh right, Angel. Would he have behaved better (or at least in a less maddening way) if he'd been a ninja?

---L.